Don't Worry, Be Happy!

Worry.  To feel uneasy or concerned about something; be troubled.

I think everyone has something they worry about.  It's hard not to worry about something at some point during your life. Earlier in the month I posted about how silly it can be to worry about something you have no control over- like the weather.  Something else I have thought about that you have very little control over is what people think of you and about you.  Unfortunately, people can think some pretty horrible things about others and be very critical of the way you do things, what you wear, and why you are the way you are.  And there are some people who just don't care what they say and speak up about those things that they are thinking (they obviously didn't get raised with my mom's best advice).  I don't know what is worse- knowing exactly what someone thinks of you because they blabbed their big mouth about their [inappropriate and unnecessary] thoughts or wondering what others are thinking about you.

If you tend to be a bit of a "people pleaser", you might find yourself worrying far too much about what others think.  For those of you who consider themselves a "people pleaser", do you find yourself worrying more about what the people who matter are thinking (friends, family, loved ones) or do you find yourself worrying more about those people that don't really matter in your life's bigger picture (co-workers, strangers, enemies)?  If your answer is that you worry more about what the people who don't really matter worries you more, then you might want to consider working on training your brain to think differently.

I really think that when push comes to shove I would be far more disappointed in myself if I knew that those close to me were thinking poorly of me more than those who I interact with minimally.  But what helps me do this?  A lot of inner dialogue.  If I have a time where I feel insecure and find myself ruminating over the thoughts running through a person's head, I try to stop myself and say: 1) Does what I am worrying about have a bigger impact on my life?  2) Will I be thinking about this in a couple of days?  3) Does this person's opinion about me make me feel like I need to reflect and make changes about myself?  4) What power does this person's opinion have over my total life?  If I answer mostly "no" do those questions, it's pretty safe to assume that it might be worth considering what possible bad thoughts the person could have about me and then move on from them. 

It is important to challenge yourself to figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are and others can help you figure those out.  In the grand scheme, though, only challenge yourself if you are going to make some really good self-improvements.  Otherwise, be comfortable with who you are and accept that you have very little control over what people think about you.  Do what you can to make a positive impression, but don't tire yourself with it.  Try thinking more positively about others too!  Maybe that will help you feel better about yourself if you aren't so critical of others.

You have bigger things to worry about.  At the end of the day, what matters is that the people you love and care about know and understand who you are.