It is my job to work where students live on a college campus and be a resource for any sort of issue that may arise. For those of you not familiar with the structure of a typical Residence Life department at my college, it's like this: Resident Assistant (hired undergraduate students), Residence Hall Director (professional, holds at least a Bachelor's, but many have a Master's). From there, the RHDs are supervised by Associate Directors. When I tell people what my job is, I often get a response like "what is your major?", "oh, so you get to live in a suite?", and "what do you want to do when you graduate?". My favorite responses to these questions: "Well, my major WAS Psychology and I got my Master's in Recreation and Leisure.", "No, I don't live in a suite, but an actual apartment in the building with 2 bedrooms, and cable, internet, phone, and heat all paid for", and "I already graduated...with a Master's degree. This is my JOB".
Why am I writing about my job? Well, it's the kind of job that makes you step back frequently and really count your blessings for a million bajillion reasons. I have been in this RHD position for a total of 4 years, working on my 5th. As each year passes, that age gap between me and the incoming freshmen gets bigger and bigger. I am now almost 10 years older than the shy, timid freshmen that sets foot on campus in August, feeling an overwhelming sense of independence. It is my job to help said freshmen reign in their independence and to help those sophomores, juniors, seniors, and transfer students find their way in the world, help them make smart decisions, and mold them to become the leaders that our businesses, schools, etc will have someday.
There are some days that I'm forced to remind myself how lucky I am to have a decent salary and to have a gorgeous newly renovated apartment to go home to at the end of every day...one that I don't have to actually pay for. But let me tell you, I do pay for it...I just don't have to write a monthly check. How do I pay for it? Let me tell you. On a typical Friday and Saturday I get to listen to variations of "Wooo!!!" screamed as people walk down the echo-filled hallway, waiting for the elevator. I get knocks on my door after I am done "working" for the day all because a resident deemed losing their key as an absolute emergency. (For your reference, my emergency equals someone is bleeding, not breathing, hurting themselves or someone else, or planning on hurting themselves or someone else). I get to smell stale beer as I walk out to the parking lot. I get to yell, swear, and curse at that car that is parked in my reserved parking spot (how would you feel if you couldn't park in your driveway!?!). I get to count the dents in my beautiful [still pretty new] car because people just don't pay attention when opening their doors all because I don't have a driveway. I am on call once or twice a semester which involves carrying around a cell phone everywhere I go, answering phone calls at all hours, hearing all about how a student had to be transported to the hospital because they were just too drunk. Talking about vomit and other bodily fluids doesn't even cause me to blink an eye. And where does my biggest payment come from? Listening to the troubles that my residents are experiencing with their roommates and suitemates. I get phone calls, emails, and office visits from students who are just plain fed up with their living situation and absolutely, positively need to move because there is no way the situation is going to be resolved. I am sorry if that sounds mean. I in no way intend to belittle the problems my students face. It's just that, as I mentioned, as that age gap increases, my ability to feel empathy for some of these problems decreases. What are some of the typical problems that people just need to move out over? "My roommate parties and I don't", "I can't get any sleep or study because my roommate likes to watch TV", "My roommate likes to sleep with the window open and fan on and my room is freezing", and my all time favorite "We just cannot possibly get along". When students come down to voice their concern about their roommate my first questions is always "Well, did you talk to your roommate about the issue?", which almost always gets the response of "No". Well, then how is the problem going to get fixed if you don't speak up and say anything? I then find myself asking myself, do they really know how lucky they are?
It's so easy to find problems in your life, to dwell on those things that aren't the way they should be, figure out the things that could be better, and to complain about things. Next time you find yourself complaining about something that really probably isn't that big of a deal, counteract it by finding something positive about the situation. When my students complain about a window being left open at night, I wish they would stop and think about how fortunate they are to 1) be at college, 2) have a place to sleep with blankets on their bed to keep them warm, 3) have food to eat every day (everyone needs a meal plan to live on campus), and 4) have people to talk to. In a few years, these issues they are just so stressed over won't even cause them to blink an eye later in life.
What do I want you to get from this? I encourage you to stop and really count your blessings...especially the next time you find yourself complaining. You are fortunate enough to use a computer, probably your own, since you are reading this. Did you get to eat today? Where will you be falling asleep tonight? What will you be doing for fun later? Who do you surround yourself with? Think about all those things and maybe you'll realize life really isn't that bad.
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